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Sorry that I haven’t posted lately; I’ve been really stuck in some situations and I have finally started to realize what is best for me. Good news though–this week I get to fly to Annapolis, MD to see Austin! I’m really excited to see him, and nervous at the same time. Before yesterday though, I had my doubts. The past month or so has been tough, most of you may or may not be in a similar situation, but being in a relationship with someone who is 2500 miles away is horrible. If you are just dropping in for the first time, Austin and I have been together since November 1, 2009. In June, he left to attend the United States Naval Academy. He is finishing up basic training which is six weeks long and then he begins his college education along with being prepared for the Midshipman life. It is a really tough decision to make to join the Navy. But I could not be more proud of him. Over 50,000 applicants fight for a spot at the academy and he is one of the 1,200 that were chosen! YAY! Getting a letter here and there and a phone call once a month… not something a standard relationship is used to.
I’m really nervous about seeing Austin for the first time in six weeks. For some if you, that doesn’t seem like very long, but a whole summer away from someone you were attached at the hip to really hits you hard. I’m not sure how I am going to feel when I see Austin… I obviously won’t know until it happens but it is something I always think about. How is he going to act when he sees me, is he going to be smiling, happy sad, awkward. Is he going to be respectful? Is he going to be someone that I still want to be with? All of these questions and more have been in my mind constantly. I want him to still be the same person I fell in love with, but what if that is all changing. Goodness, I don’t like this whole “waiting thing”.
Until yesterday to be honest, I wasn’t that excited to see him– or at least I didn’t think I was ready to see him. Yesterday really hit me hard though, I talked to him on the phone and I spent the day with his mom and brother. I think that really gave me a wake up call. It brought back everything that I had pushed to the side to help me forget he left (memories, moments, feelings, etc.). I finally came to the realization of how much I missed him and how I cannot wait to see him!
FRIDAY PLEASE COME SOONER! I want to see Austin like now! I am so excited! That’s all for today, but I’ll leave you with some quotes that have gotten me through this far!
xoxo,
Leanna
